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ISSAQUAH LAW GROUP

Issaquah Law Group: Experienced Counsel; Client Focus

PHILOSOPHY: Formed in 2014, Issaquah Law Group is a law firm with one focus: providing businesses and insurers with high quality legal representation with the responsiveness of a smaller firm. ILG was founded on the principle that strong client relationships are the key to successful legal representation and strong relationships are built upon clear and consistent communication. 

LITIGATION: We work closely with our clients to fully and accurately understand their goals, work collaboratively to formulate specific legal strategies, and execute the agreed plan of action utilizing methods most likely to result in the efficient and effective resolution of the matter. ILG attorneys have a broad base of litigation experience to draw on in all Federal and State courts from on-the-ground investigations to Supreme Court appeals in the areas of personal injury and wrongful death, product liability, commercial general liability, labor & employment, construction litigation, and catastrophic losses due to fire and explosion.

BUSINESS LAW: Rarely is the path from point A to point B a straight line, so our role in a business law practice is to find alternatives, devise workable strategies, and keep your business ideas, goals and objectives moving toward realization. ILG’s business attorneys help clients achieve their goals with respect to business formation, intellectual property, labor and employment, CAN-SPAM, copyright and trademark

COMMUNITY: In addition, the Lawyers at Issaquah Law Group remain active in the legal and civic community. A core commitment of our Issaquah Attorneys is community service. Our attorneys' civic involvement includes the King County Civil Rights Commission; the City of Issaquah Planning Policy Commission; the Northwest Screenwriters Guild, service as a pro tem judge. We live and work in the Pacific Northwest, and we aim to make it a better place.

In addition, through The Amateur Law Professor Blog and LinkedIn postings, we share pertinent opinions and decisions of the Washington State Supreme Court, as well as the pertinent opinions and decisions of the Washington State Courts of Appeal so that our clients can be as update to date on cutting legal issues as we are.

If you've ever wanted to shoot Harry Husband and Wanda Wife

Tip of the hat to Ipse Dixit for posting something that made me laugh during what is possibly the worst time in my life. The author of this is unknown. If you are them, or you know who is, please let me know so proper credit can be given.

I just got this in an email from a dear friend who is right now in the depths of hell, aka studying for the Bar exam. If you have already taken the bar, this will bring back memories. For those of you still studying, hang in there. You WILL pass! For those of you who have not suffered through the Bar exam, find a lawyer friend and share this with them. They will laugh their butts off.

NOTE: I did not write this, and I would love to credit the person who did. If anyone knows, shoot me a comment.

1. People who don't record their deeds:
Hey. Fuck face. That's a nice deed you got there. Went ahead andbought Stankacre, didya? That's awesome. Owning property is a signof real maturity. Now, why don't you do us all a fucking favor, andgo record the fucking deed.Right. Fucking. Now. Don't put it in a goddamn drawer. Don't go off to India for 20 years. Don't leave the deed in your will for dear cousin Victorianox. Get your fat lazy ass down to the records office, and record it before I burn your goddamn house down.

2: Wily property sellers:
Here is a suggestion to those Bill of Rights violatin' petty thug assclowns, the Police. How about you go down to Doucheacre, and arrest the son of a bitch who sells the same house to 15 different people, over and over. I'm sick of this guy getting away every time he pullsthis shit, and I'm left to sort out the fucking pieces.

3: "Known" arsonists:
Here's a little tip to all the cretins that keep hiring "known"arsonists to burn down their cheating girlfriend's house. Why is it, do you think, that he is a known arsonist, you dipshit? He's known because he has been fucking caught before. You don't know who the good arsonists are, do you! Because they have their shit together. But no, you had to go hire Dusseldorf, or Durango, or whatever D word your fuckwit moron arsonist is named, and now he's gone and burned thewrong house, and left me with a BAR question.

4: People who back out of conspiracies:
Why don't you just stick with it and save us all some trouble, you pussy.

5. Power companies that leave an electric wire live to deter copper theft:
While I appreciate your effort to rid the world of thieves stupid enough to try and steal raw copper wiring that's fucking humming and has blue arcs dancing on it, it's just gonna bite you in the ass inthe end. Just let the copper go.

6. Fertile Octogenarians:
I think I speak for all of us when I say...
...Burn the witch!
Burn her!
And don't use a "known" arsonist!

7. People who use anything more complicated than Fee Simple Absolute in a will:
Hey, old man. Either give Horatio your fucking interest in Scroteacre, or don't, alright? Don't condition it on him growing a mustache, or learning to play the calliope, or winning "Dancing withthe Stars." Don't grant a springing executive interest to Zenobia if she manages to graduate from Ninja academy. Stop making my life more complicated than it needs to be, you Narcissistic old twat, and stop trying to control your property fromthe grave in a vain attempt to make up for your feebleness in life.

8. House Painters:
Just paint the fucking house yourself, Paulson.Trust me on this one. It's not worth it.

9. Bank Mortgages:
Hi there, First National Bank of South Calizonachussettsas. I don't mean to tell you how to run your business, but allow me to impart abit of sage wisdom.
When someone :
1) named Defaultina McBankrupstein,
2) is taking out her 17th mortgage with you,
3) on a place called Mushacre
4) so she can buy a new hat,
….do NOT fucking come crying to me when the inevitable judicial foreclosure sale nets $34, a button, and some lint, all of which are devoured by the banks that are 20 miles ahead of you in creditor line. And do not ask me whether you are a junior or senior mortgagor, or whether you debt is secured, or some other bullshit I don'tunderstand, because the answer is always the same.
D) You are Fucked. Take it like a man.

10. Wanna-be Burglars:
I am sick to death of these slackjawed melon-heads deciding at 2 a.m.that they need to borrow their neighbors wrench, and are sure he"won't mind" if they saunter on over there in the middle of the night,crowbar the garage open, smash open his tool chest, and "borrow it."And then always the inevitable fucking:
Did he commit Larceny/Burglary/Robbery?????? Ohhhhh, no intent!

Let him go, boys. Let the man go. So I can throw the wrench right at his goddamn teeth. Good thing when we are really in practice we will have these IntentGoggles (c), that can magically tell us, despite every bit of evidenceto the contrary, this jackass really didn't intend to commit a crime.He genuinely thought that breaking into your neighbor's house,stealing his car, taking a shit on his pool table, and sleeping withhis wife were all part of the social covenants between good neighbors.

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