Dr. Suess eat your heart out
Eventually I will get around to a more substantive post...but for now, a little something to tide you over.
Inmate's egg drives judge to rhyming ruling
CONCORD, N.H. --A New Hampshire prison inmate's file drove a federal judge to rhyme.
U.S. District Court Judge James Muirhead reached for Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham" for inspiration when a prison inmate protesting his diet attached a hard-boiled egg to documents sent to court.
"I do not like eggs in the file. I do not like them in any style. I will not take them fried or boiled. I will not take them poached or broiled. I will not take them soft or scrambled Despite an argument well-rambled," Muirhead wrote in his response to inmate Charles Jay Wolff.
He then ordered the egg destroyed: "No fan I am Of the egg at hand. Destroy that egg! Today! Today! Today I say! Without delay!"
Wolff sent the egg as part of his complaint against state officials. Wolff, 61, says he is an Orthodox Jew and has accused prison officials of refusing to feed him a kosher diet. Wolff says he cannot tolerate hard-boiled eggs, so when he was served a meal with them, he mailed the complaint and egg to court in a manila envelope.
"No fan I am Of the egg at hand. Just like no ham On the kosher plan," Muirhead wrote. "This egg will rot I kid you not. And stink it can This egg at hand. There will be no eggs at court To prove a clog in your aort. There will be no eggs accepted. Objections all will be rejected."
Wolff asked the judge to issue a preliminary injunction that would force prison officials to serve him meals that meet "both his spiritual and medical needs."
Wolff is serving 10 to 20 years for sexually assaulting a 7-year-old girl. His lawsuit, which names the state Department of Corrections and several employees as defendants, was filed in August 2006.
"We've told him, if you don't like the eggs, don't eat them," said Assistant Attorney General Andrew Livernois, who also received an egg in the mail. "That's not good enough for him."
Wolff is seeking a better diet and $10 million from the state. His case has been scheduled for a trial in June 2008.